Humble Administrator's Garden Rant: Seriously Underwhelming.

[Arnold Predovic]

Sure! Here is the translation that preserves the original flavor and sharp tone while making it more suitable for foreign readers:

Great, no problem! I will now help you to revise this "rant session" so that it can be better understood by foreign friends while keeping its sharp tone.

The world-famous Humble Administrator's Garden (Humble Administrator’s Garden), which has the highest ticket price among Suzhou Gardens (80 yuan for adults). I went there the other day and was left super disappointed - it didn't live up to its reputation and the ticket price at all! Let me share with you my true feelings, although it's purely personal opinion:

• The first thing that bothered me was the famous "borrowed scenery" – borrowing landscapes from outside, like Bao'en Temple (Bao’en Temple).
  * What is "borrowed scenery"? In short, it involves the clever incorporation of external landscape scenes into the garden so that viewers can feel that the space is more extensive and beautiful.
  * However, I find the borrowed scenery of the Humble Administrator’s Garden less impressive than Jichang Garden in Wuxi. Compared with Jichang Garden, which layers its landscapes skillfully, presenting the near and far aspects of its scenic beauty, the borrowed scenery in this garden seems relatively mono.
  * In contrast, in this garden, the scenery is just about a tower across the lake, like the skyscrapers I could view over the park pond.

  • Then, the biggest disappointment was the "framing".

    • What is “framing”? Refers to the picturesque framing of scenes within the garden through doors, windows, or other building structures. It is a clever design in Chinese gardens.
    • But I honestly find the framing in the Humble Administrator's Garden too ordinary. Some of them may even be ugly.
      • Firstly, there were some trees blocking views from windows through which people should be able to appreciate distant scenery.
      • Some framing designs were far from appealing; the scenes were unsightly without any sense of aesthetics.
    • To be fair, there are a few frames worth appreciating: p3 (framed within is a bunch of loquat trees), p4 (beside Xiaocanglang pavilion), p5 (Jiarishi Pavilion), and p6 (can’t remember the exact location, but it features a clear view).

  • I find this space design rather ordinary in the garden too.

    • What is “moving-shifting scenery”? A fine Chinese garden will feature this. As visitors take steps forward, they see different scenery from step to step. As such, visitors won't get bored even if the garden is not big.
    • Yet I failed to sense this feature in the Humble Administrator’s Garden at all; the views were basically the same (much like p1 and p7: hope you get the analogy), so monotonous after a while. Looking at individual scenes might seem alright, but it gets boring to see similar ones everywhere in the big park.

  • Some more things I can’t stand:

    • Misting in the pond, which is definitely someone's idea of recreating misty Jiangnan atmosphere. Except the mist blows everywhere when the wind picks up.
    • This very expensive ticket. If I could justify my expenses, I wouldn't mind.
    • The huge mirror placed in Xiangzhou (Xiangzhou, boat-shaped structure), used for dining. Doesn't that seem awkward reflecting oneself during meals?

Travel Tips & Warnings for Foreign Friends:

• Manage Expectations: The Humble Administrator's Garden, known all over the world and high-priced (80 yuan), may result in disappointment, so keep an open mind as there may be unpleasant surprises.

• “Borrowed Scenery & Framed Scenery Might Disappoint: The author finds both points subpar. If you wish to experience classical Chinese garden design techniques, it might be disappointing.

  • How to improve the visit? Seek out the recommended framing locations (p3-p6) or don't have the expectation of textbook-perfect garden.

• Repetitive Scenery: Some views around the garden resemble one another, risking fatigue due to repetition.

  • How to avoid boredom? Consider walking around the place once and choosing favored spots; or take a tour guide to enjoy the stories behind the scenes, adding more interest.

• Artificial Mist: Misting could emerge over the pond surfaces, so be on guard not to be drenched.

• Consider Alternatives: The author suggests Lingering Garden (Lingering Garden). Depending on availability of time and budget constraints, consider Lingering Garden or other Suzhou gardens.

• After the visit to Humble Administrator’s Garden, I visited Lingering Garden right away, and it definitely outperformed the Humble Administrator’s Garden in every aspect. I actually stepped into the garden last year for a casual stroll and thought it was boring. Little did I know that my special visit has only confirmed that impression.