Best Way to Lose the 'Magic'? Just Go Experience It.

[Mrs. Beverly Glover-Crist]

Hello everyone! Recently, I've been pondering something - it seems we are all somewhat infatuated with the concept of 'broadening our horizons', believing that seeing more of the outside world will somehow make us stronger and more distinguished. However, to be honest, the more desirable things we crave, the more likely we feel inadequate and unworthy.

During the May Day holiday (an important public holiday in China, when many people travel), I took a trip to Shanghai alone. Before setting off, I was indecisive for a long time, but after all, this cosmopolitan city holds too much allure for someone like me who craves exploration!

My senses were ignited the moment the plane touched down at Pudong International Airport (one of Shanghai's major international airports). Indeed, everything fascinated me! In a taxi, I greedily inhaled each breath of the Shanghai air, yearning to imprint every aspect of this city onto my memory.

Over the next three days, I wandered around Shanghai's streets, subway stations, and store entrances, quietly experiencing the awe this metropolis bestowed upon me. However, shortly thereafter, I felt a little disheartened. This discouragement stemmed from the fact that the metropolis did not deliver those life-altering and soul-sifting grandeur impressions I anticipated. Its splendor and sophistication were veiled in details rather than the superficial gaudiness that could be discerned in a glance.

Then, a term came to mind — “de-idealization”.

Shanghai indeed fulfilled my fantasies of an international metropolis, but it also instigated this de-idealization.

Before arriving in Shanghai, I envisaged a city filled with luxurious parties (a Chinese common turn 'paper drunk, gold-sunken' describes this sight), towering skyscrapers, streets lined with impeccably dressed executives striding with flair… Yet, I did see clean city streets, elegantly dressed white-collar workers, buildings in various architectural styles, as well as more foreigners than I had encountered in my lifetime (Shanghai being one of China's most international cities).

What is de-idealization? Put simply, it denotes ceasing to view something as mysterious or sacred, scrutinizing it with an equally objective eye, and developing a greater belief in oneself. A quote encapsulates it aptly: "Often, those 'strong ones' who bask under radiant halos are mostly endowed by us individually with such divine lights." The reason we idolize prestigious universities, luxury brands, and diverse elite images is that deep down, we believe we lack. Much like if we already possessed ample sweets, then we would cease to treasure any additional candies.

Consequently, observing these scenes enabled me to truly grasp the phrase: 'The world is but a vast bazaar of imperfections.' This internet buzzphrase means that things are not as perfect and organized as they appear, everyone is merely striving to cope with their challenges.

I witnessed elegantly dressed executives crouching in subway stations, hurrying over work schemes with laptops; ordinary items took on glamorous hues merely thanks to a 'Shanghai' label.

Also, highly educated individuals from reputed universities sometimes exhibited ill-mannered behaviors; people who looked disheveled seconds ago could instantly dress impeccably when appearing in public.

Travel Experience and Recommendations (assisting you in a Better World Outlook):

• Avoid idealizing the world:
  • The places or things we yearn for may not perfectly align with our imaginings.
  • Avoid disappointment: Scrutinize with your own eyes, feel with your heart. Don't let others' narratives or social media's glossy pictures overly influence you.
• De-idealization is a positive, not negative:
  • When you discover these once-admired entities aren't as 'ordinary' or differ from expectations, it doesn't signify deterioration but your growth, adopting a more tranquil and realistic perspective.
  • Significance: This will bolster your self-confidence, free from blind adoration.
• Bear in mind: 'The world is a vast bazaar':
  • This phrase can help you dispel rigid notions of perfection. Some seemingly impressive achievements conceal nothing but hard work. No matter how far one has come, it remains far from flawless.
  • Mindset adjustment: Perceiving things through such lenses reveals the distance between 'elite individuals' or 'unattainable dreams' and yourself is actually insignificant.
• Embrace direct experience as the ultimate 'de-idealization method':
  • Only firsthand experiences can shatter impractical conceptions.
  • Take action: Conquer your desires, travel, and savor different lives!

In truth, don't impose excessive 'filters' (fantasies) on everything around us. Many envied phenomena stem from our own imaginations. Often, they constrain our progress as insurmountable adversaries.

Thus, venture out boldly, abandon these 'world filters', perceive solely through eyes and ears without external influences, immerse fully in hearts – surprises may lie in wait.

Although my experience with Shanghai incited de-idealization, it didn’t diminish my love for this enchanting city.

Therefore, the best form of 'de-idealization' is direct encounter and personal experience!

[Faye O'Conner]

I used to always want to travel with others, but over time, I've gotten used to exploring by myself. Sometimes, when you're with people, you're just not on the same wavelength, and you can't fully enjoy things. Now, I increasingly enjoy the solo life—watching movies alone, eating out alone, traveling alone. It's seriously awesome!!! Starting this year, I've traveled to so many places by myself and chatted with lots of strangers along the way. It's been such a great experience!

[Tracy Hoppe]

Congrats, babe, on taking so many first steps! Being solo is truly awesome!! You rock!!!

[Lula Schmidt]

Same here. I just got back from Shanghai yesterday, and honestly, the city has lost some of its magic for me. It's definitely bustling and prosperous, no doubt, but I didn't feel that deep sense of awe or yearning. It might have been because of the May Day holiday crowds. I went to the Oriental Pearl Tower, and it was packed with people just taking photos for their social media. I didn't get any of that legendary 'Magic City' glitz and glamour. Maybe I just didn't experience its true essence, so my impressions were only superficial. It felt pretty much like any other major city, just with slightly better night views.

[Kristopher Schultz PhD]

Well, if you have money, then it's all glitz and glamour...

[Sylvia Franecki]

I feel like disenchantment is the second stage. The third stage is rebuilding your own values and, after understanding the world better, consciously choosing to rekindle your love for it.

[Steve Beatty]

An epiphany in the 'Dragon City'.

[Lena Oberbrunner]

I’d been studying and interning in Shanghai for ages but never really experienced its 'glitz and glamour.' Then I dated a rich, handsome guy who took me to restaurants costing several hundred per person and a hotel near the Bund – that’s when I finally got a taste of it. Maybe just seeing luxury cars on the street doesn't quite capture that 'glitz and glamour'; perhaps you only really feel it when you're sitting inside a supercar.

[Kay Oberbrunner]

Actually, I'm not really intimidated by the super-rich or the whole 'glitz and glamour' scene. What I'm naturally intimidated by are the highly academic types—like when I'm strolling around campuses such as Fudan or Jiao Tong. It's the same now, visiting Tsinghua in Beijing alone for the May Day holiday.

[Karen Zulauf]

I've been feeling this 'disenchantment' concept deeply lately. Whether it's things I once greatly admired or people I was interested in, as I get older and gain more experience, they often seem to boil down to 'it's not that big a deal after all.' I guess it's part of learning to respect and accept the world's diversity. Ultimately, it's about returning to your truest, simplest self.

[Mr. Philip Hudson]

So well said.

[Hugo Witting]

The first time I came to Shanghai and strolled along the Bund, I felt a spark, almost like love at first sight. I couldn't resist going again this May Day, but this time it felt quite ordinary, like meeting an old friend after many years. Things you once put on a pedestal gradually come down to eye level as your experience grows. There's a slight sense of loss in that, but I'm more gratified by my own growth.

[Kendra Howe]

Wow, that's beautifully put! That transition from looking up to things to seeing them eye-to-eye is really a process of gaining clearer self-awareness.

[Byron Larkin]

Strongly agree! Disenchantment happens when you've actually seen and experienced something, only to realize that much of its allure was a filter you applied yourself.

[Melinda Wilderman]

Spot on!

[Roosevelt Reynolds]

My 'disenchantment' with Shanghai comes from my school being in the suburbs; it feels just like being back in my hometown, hahaha!

[Robyn Reilly]

Hahahaha

[Bonnie Beatty]

That's awesome! I also went to Shanghai solo for the May Day holiday. It was quite a moving experience for me. I walked like crazy every day, just exploring the city and reflecting. I'm still having withdrawal symptoms now!

[Kevin Harris]

Hahaha, me too, a little bit.

[Brenda Shanahan]

Hey, me too! I also came to Shanghai this May Day. Before I arrived, I really idealized it. But after coming, I found it’s indeed a bit different from what I had imagined. The best way to 'demystify' a place is to actually go experience it yourself.