Suzhou: Don't Get Zapped! (A WTF Guide to Tourist Traps)

[Kelvin Shanahan DVM]

Hello, fellow travelers planning a trip to Suzhou!

To be honest, it's not that Suzhou has more pitfalls than other tourist cities. Every tourist city has its own surprises, especially for us travelers who are new to the area and unfamiliar with local customs. It's easy to run into these traps if we don't keep an eye out.

Most of these pitfalls can be avoided with a little care:

• Absolutely do not eat at restaurants near tourist attractions!
  *   Take places like Pingjiang Road, Shantang Street, or scenic spots known for their gardens (like the Humble Administrator's Garden and Lion Grove Garden) as examples. With so many visitors and expensive store rentals, the owners aim to make money and the quality of ingredients they use... you should know.
• Don't buy those peculiar fruits and cigarettes from vendors on the street!
  *   Suzhou has neither its unique local fruits nor any "tobacco" worth purchasing. If you wish to taste local fruits, simply open AutoNavi Maps (a Chinese app similar to Google Maps) and search for legitimate fruit shops nearby. Instead of spending your money unwisely, donating would be better, don't go easy on those who sell counterfeit products at exorbitant prices!
• Be cautious about "crab roe noodles"!
  *   You likely know the "big-handed crab," (a famous hairy crab) is seasonal cuisine. During seasons when this crab isn't available, the crab roe you'll find in these noodles may just be precooked using old crabs with questionable sources, then sold at high price by the bowl! I've never seen local eaters queueing for the food—avoid them.
• A special warning about information on Xiang Xiang Book (China’s popular social media app, similar to Instagram)!
  • Don't blindly respond to someone looking for "drinking buddies" on Xiang Xiang Book; doing so could lead to meeting several rough-looking men who are aiming to trick you into buying overrated fake alcohol!
  • The most important warning comes from Xiang Xiang Book’s food blogger "store exploration notes"! These hidden pitfalls are more deceptive than obvious ones—because they look so real!
    • Actually, there aren't many amazing dishes in Suzhou. But some restaurants take their marketing strategies very seriously: for instance, hiring people to line up in front of them pretending the place is busy, or collaborating with influencers (nicknamed "meat megaphone") to extol themselves.

In short, stay vigilant and informed, most of these pitfalls can be avoided, so you can avoid paying your "IQ tax" if you still get scammed somehow!

[Mr. Ryan Hermann]

Loquats and bayberries would like a word with anyone who says 'Suzhou has no specialty fruits.'

[Orville DuBuque]

Loquats and bayberries... so many places grow them, and honestly, they're much tastier than Suzhou's. Just like with bamboo shoots, Suzhou is pretty much at the northern edge of where these things grow, so the quality difference compared to regions like Zhejiang and Fujian is quite noticeable.

[Leticia Ritchie]

How many times have you actually looked for a drinking buddy?

[Florence Stark]

Aren't the fruits in the picture sold at pretty much every major tourist spot? Though they might go by different names.

[Mr. Nathan Waelchi]

Basically, they're just scamming curious folks who aren't short on cash.

[Katrina Ziemann]

Yesterday, I scrolled past a post by a woman who said she knew she should steer clear of the crab roe noodles, but just couldn't resist trying them since she was there. And then, after eating them, she posted her own warning. What can you do with people like that? Do you really think a mountain of warnings can stop them?

[Mr. Carlton Johnston]

For those crab roe noodles, I honestly try to warn off every single person I see considering them. But alas, droves of people still go, eat them, and then post their own warnings. Sigh.