Travelled with a friend. Pretty sure this trip killed our friendship.
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Thanks for all the comments, everyone. I'm back home now! Reading through them all, I'll definitely give this relationship some serious thought. If we can't remain friends in the end, I'll move on. And finally, a huge thank you to the people of Zhejiang!! Hangzhou is beautiful! Also, thanks to everyone who took the time to comment.
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Since no one else is saying it, I will. There's no need to judge anyone in this situation, simply because one person's account can't represent the whole truth. We only have the blogger's perspective here; how much is fact and how much is what the blogger believes to be fact? It's probably impossible for anyone to tell, including the blogger herself. For instance, 'When booking the hotel, I asked everyone, and they all said it was fine.' Without chat logs as proof, can we be sure everyone clearly agreed? Another example: Is it possible that the small group, excluding the blogger, was already a tighter-knit clique from the start? Is it possible the blogger tends to overthink things? (I'm not targeting the blogger, just trying to offer another viewpoint). Many other parts of the story are subjective descriptions colored by her emotions and perceptions. Therefore, we can't judge who's right or wrong based on a single perspective. However, the blogger felt uncomfortable, and that feeling is very real.
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Acknowledge your feelings. Choosing to end the friendship might be a good outcome. Alternatively, you could have an open and honest conversation with your friends to understand everyone's true thoughts before deciding whether to leave or stay.
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My heart just died after getting back to the hotel... I was completely ignored...
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I have no idea what the plan is for tomorrow... We were supposed to go sightseeing in the morning, but I was ignored, and now I'm too scared to ask... Someone help me.
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- She didn't want to do any planning, had no clue about attraction timings or routes. Didn't want to look at hotels, just said 'whatever' to everything. When I asked her to help book high-speed rail tickets, she said she didn't know how. After 20 minutes of teaching her, she just said she couldn't buy them, relying on me for everything. During the trip, I was scrambling and asked her to hail a cab. After 10 minutes, she hadn't gotten one – she was just busy on WeChat and then said she didn't know how. Are you traveling with a personal butler? 2. We didn't rent a car, so obviously, we had to take subways, taxis, and walk a lot. It's summer, so wearing light clothing is fine, but then she complained about the sun and not wanting to get tanned, yet had no sun sleeves. The moment we stepped out, she'd open her umbrella. Fine. But then she bought stuff she couldn't carry and made me hold it, while she just strolled along with her umbrella in one hand and phone in the other. 3. We'd only be out until noon, and she'd start complaining about being tired and hot, walking super slowly with a sour face. Dude, we only left at 10:30 AM, had a meal, and then started exploring. You're exhausted by 2 PM? Then why did you even come out? Am I supposed to deal with your attitude on vacation?
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- The funniest thing was when we randomly visited a temple and she drew a 'bad luck' fortune slip. I told her, 'Chinese people believe in themselves. If it's a good sign, thank the gods; if it's bad, then my fate is in my own hands, not heavens.' But she wouldn't listen and just got all emo. For the rest of the trip, she moped about her bad luck, always with a gloomy face, which was a real downer. Different mindsets really show through when traveling. 5. When you travel, you obviously want to try authentic local food. I suggested snacks; she didn't like them or want to try. I said I wanted to try local specialty dishes, as they best reflect the food culture; she didn't like those either. We go to a province known for spicy food, and what main course does she order? Dongpo pork?! We finally managed one meal of local cuisine, and it turned out to be Hangzhou-style food. Conclusion: In the future, I'll save up my money and travel alone. It's much happier than having to cater to some princess.
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Traveling really does show you people's true colors.
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Just a rant: you really can't travel with friends who've been in long-term relationships for ages. They do nothing, are still stuck in that 'being pampered' role, and then complain about this and that. It really makes you realize how different people are. As for emotional intelligence, it's like they say, 'you rise to the level of your company.' If you're not going to show any, then I'm not going to bother either.
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Yeah, after that, I rarely travel with friends who are in relationships.
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I think you express your thoughts and logic very clearly in writing.
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You try a loft once, and the magic is gone. Unless they're super expensive, they're usually pretty average and nothing like you imagine.
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So why did you go out with them? Who invited whom?
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They invited me...
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A loosely organized trip calls for a loosely-held approach. Friends who become 'loose' will gradually drift away. Time passes, and even the best memories can't change a person's altered heart and nature. Birds of a feather flock together; if it doesn't feel right, it's best to fade out of each other's lives.