Suzhou's Landmines: I Stepped on Every. Single. One.

[Karen Zulauf]

Wow, some places in Suzhou are so disappointing that I never want to visit them again! I’d like to give a heads-up to my fellow travelers:

住宿踩雷 - Avoid the Pitfall of Zhuozheng Bieyuan Hotel

• This hotel is not recommended at all. It feels old and outdated, with somewhat dilapidated facilities.

• The environment is nothing special and seems not very clean.

• The lighting in the rooms is very dim; it’s difficult to see your face for a proper makeup application.

• Suppose that there’s supposed to be a view, but there was absolutely nothing interesting to see.

• We booked a family room, which appeared promising: two rooms and a living room. However, it turned out there was only one bathroom, and the sink was abysmally small. Can you imagine four people of a family sharing such a tiny space in the morning?

  避坑提示 - Avoid the Pitfall Tips:

  • For this price range, consider checking into chain hotels like All Seasons, Atour, or Orange Hotel. These are mainstream Chinese chains that usually ensure reasonable quality.
  • If traveling as a family, inquire about the number and dimensions of the bathrooms before making a reservation.

餐厅吐槽 - Dining Experience with Gusu Boat Banquet – A Major Disappointment

• Though "Gusu" translates to an ancient name of Suzhou, indicating poetic charm and on-the-river dining, the food quality is shockingly low.

• Surely, just because its setting is charming, can the meal taste be so subpar?

• Being on a boat cruise and dining would arguably justify the higher prices; yet it wasn’t the case here!

  特色菜踩雷 -

  • The Crab Roe Noodles, which are traditional Su-style noodle dishes enhanced by crab roe and meat costed an eye-watering 98 yuan per bowl. To add insult to injury, I found almost identical options on Meituan, an app offering various services including meal delivery and group buying, at around 80 yuan.
  • Even the beverages and pastries were exorbitant – feeling cheated beyond measure.

  卫生警告 - Warning About Hygiene in the Restaurant:

  • The most concerning issue is the cleanliness, or lack thereof, of the dining area. The glasses seemed barely washed, giving a disturbing feeling during the meal.

发型体验大踩雷 - Hairdo with Fengming Gusu: A Total Disaster

• “Hand-guided wave hairdos” are typical retro hairstyles requiring special techniques. I called Fengming Gusu beforehand asking if they could do traditional hand-guided wave hairstyles, and they confirmed yes.
• Having waited eagerly in line, it proved extremely disappointing when I realized that the so-called ‘traditional’ styles were done by merely curlers and clips!
• The result of their work left me looking like ‘a messy bird’s nest’ of hair that should’ve belonged in the saddest story ever told. So tragic it made me cry.

避坑提示 - Avoid the Pitfall Tips:

• How could they have the audacity to charge me for such shabby workmanship? I paid without a thought at the time, but now I feel very much regret as a victim of the so-called 'hand-guided-waves.'
• For those seeking authentic craftsmanship experiences, ask more questions about their techniques before paying; or watch them style another client’s hair first. My references were beautiful, yet they left me with a head full of clips and looking like “a bird nest” – most absurd buyer-to-seller photo contrast of all time!