China's City with the Iciest 'Human Vibe'?
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When you visit or live in Shanghai, you’ll discover:
• There’s a strong sense of “boundaries” between people here.
• What does that mean? Essentially, everyone has a good idea about the nature of our relationship, the extent to which we can rely on each other, and what we’re prepared to share, defined by unspoken rules.
• So, you won’t feel that they are overly friendly beyond comfort, nor will you feel neglected.Please be aware during meals or shared expenses:
• Unless someone generously volunteers to pay for the meal outright ("I’ll treat everyone!"), it’s typically split evenly – each person pays their own way, settling up immediately with no further debts or obligations. This is quite practical, avoiding complicated bookkeeping of favors owed.
• Personally, I find this culture with its moderate level of “human touch” very likable.
• It feels like everyone is living a more relaxed and comfortable life without causing additional trouble for others or burdening themselves.
• Of course, some might feel it’s too “cold” in this sense.• Well, after all, society is rather straightforward, whereas the complexity lies deep within human hearts.
#Chatting #EachDayIsRemarkable #ValuableMomentsToCaptureEveryDay
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Even Shanghainese people don't like this version of Shanghai. The 'Shanghai spirit' is long gone; it's just a place to make money now!
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Spot on.
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It's such a relief! As someone who felt trapped by the close-knit, often intrusive, social dynamics of a small county town, where colleagues constantly pry into your personal life – 'Are you married?', 'What does your husband do?', 'Have you had kids yet?' – they practically want to know every single detail about your family just to have something to gossip about.
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I get it. It's what some might call 'information exchange.' If you don't want to participate, you risk being ostracized and becoming the subject of their gossip. You often have no choice but to go with the flow. Truth be told, in any city, people tend to adapt and go with the flow to get along.
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Shanghainese people aren't that close with their relatives.
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In an era of entrenched social classes, what difference do relatives really make?
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I often travel to Beijing and Shanghai for business. The most striking difference I've noticed is how people behave regarding subway seats. While people rush for seats in both cities, I've seen many instances in Beijing where people give up their seats to the elderly. In Shanghai, however, I saw an elderly man, visibly frail and trembling, just a step away from an empty seat. First, a young woman swooped in and snatched it. Moments later, after another seat freed up, a middle-aged man did the exact same thing, cutting him off. What's infuriating is that the old man was clearly closer; you'd assume the seat was his, but these two just darted in and took it from under him.
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You wouldn't see that on the Shenzhen subway. Commuting is orderly, and people proactively offer their seats to the elderly.
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Before I ever visited Shanghai, I'd often see online comments describing Shanghainese people as arrogant, cold, impolite, and having a superiority complex. I thought it was unfair to generalize like that—every place has its good and bad people. But after living in Shanghai for six months, I've come to realize there's some truth to what people say. My prevailing feeling is a lack of politeness. Polite people do exist, but they seem to be in the minority.
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Speaking of which, I had an experience that left me unsure whether to laugh or cry. The year before last, I was in Shanghai for less than two weeks on vacation. It was hot, so I often wore shorts and flip-flops in and out of my hotel. I sensed judgmental stares and disdainful expressions, so I'd stare right back. I only found out later that, in Shanghai, people who dress like that are supposedly seen as the 'self-conscious type' or having low self-esteem. I was speechless.
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Isn't it good to be a bit more detached and maintain some personal boundaries? Life isn't some Qiong Yao TV drama full of intense, clingy relationships.
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You've perfectly understood the main point of this 'essay'
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My neighbor's 'uncle' (a familiar term for an older man) was in Shanghai working alone as a delivery driver when he suddenly suffered a ruptured major artery. There were so many people on the street, yet no one called for help. He missed the critical window for emergency medical treatment and passed away. He was only 38!
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I'm aware of the general situation. Your 'uncle' probably had an arterial aneurysm that wasn't treated in time, and his condition was triggered by long-term, high-intensity work. Besides, you know how it is these days – if an elderly person collapses on the street, people are too scared to help, fearing they'll be blamed.
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Shenzhen is even colder than Shanghai.
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Wrong. People in Shenzhen wouldn't refuse to help someone who's asking for directions.
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Shanghai lacks human warmth.
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Shanghainese people are never wrong, they can never be seen as being in the wrong or in a lesser position. Even when they have no leg to stand on, they'll still try to turn the tables and blame others...