My 'Best Friend' Trip? Almost Gave Me PTSD.
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Oh, what a rollercoaster of emotions this trip has been! Here are some reminders I'd like to share with friends heading to Hangzhou:
My friend and I have known each other for more than three years; she has always talked about going out together.
- Just as the May Day long holiday (China's Labor Day holiday with incredibly crowded locations) coincided, her enthusiasm for going increased even more.
- Although I was somewhat hesitant at first, I eventually agreed. After much deliberation, we opted to visit Hangzhou, a city renowned for its beautiful West Lake.
Regarding accommodation, my friend insisted on finding something affordable and clean yet value-for-money.
- She picked a hotel in the outskirts, which she had highly recommended.
- The price was indeed quite reasonable - just 670 yuan for two people for a double room over three nights.
- But when we arrived, we discovered that it took an hour and a half by car from the hotel to downtown! Oh my god!
- She promptly complained that "Had we known, we wouldn't have chosen a hotel in the suburbs, making every place difficult to reach!"
I was mostly responsible for planning the itinerary since it was my primary focus due to limited leisure time.
- My main objective in visiting Hangzhou was to attend an art exhibition about a game entitled 'Black Myth', highly anticipated in China (Black Myth: Wukong).
- However, my friend mainly wished to visit the West Lake.
- Alas, tickets for the art exhibition were depleted, so we instead visited the museum.
I enjoyed collecting memorabilia or cultural merchandise (charming souvenirs like postcards or small trinkets) each time I visited a location.
- My friend wasn't quite into these matters initially.
- But upon returning to the hotel, she lamented not bringing gifts for people and regretted not purchasing any cultural merchandise. Sigh!
During the journey, there were moments that drained me emotionally:
First, concerning navigation and asking for directions:
- Every time we headed to scenic spots, she would repeatedly inquire, "Where do we go next?"
- The responsibility of navigating and giving directions was solely on me, despite being new to Hangzhou myself!
- Moreover, due to limited energy levels, I couldn't constantly focus on map navigation through my phone.
- Thus, whenever we took a wrong turn or missed something, she would express frustration and complain. The transportation schedules for Hangzhou's subway and bus system, along with information on how to navigate various tourist destinations – even scanning for public bikes (those that can be rented simply via scan-based payment systems) and locating specific stores encountered on the bus route – she expected me to have all these data memorized! Whenever I offered insights or advice, she questioned them as if I were nothing more than a walking GPS navigator, often critic and belittled by her.
Secondly, regarding souvenir shopping:
- As previously mentioned, I preferred purchasing charming items as souvenirs from my travels.
- She tended to be relatively frugal and hesitant about spending extra money.
- Once, while wandering around “曲院风荷,” one of the ten famous scenic spots in Hangzhou famous for its magnificent summer lotus, she continuously expressed concerns: "You've bought enough stuff." It felt very cumbersome at the moment.
* Firstly, I could afford what I wanted to purchase.
* Secondly, my purchases were not excessive, only three times during this entire trip.
* Thirdly, I spent my own money. Yet, her attitude suggested my spending was unreasonable, imposing her own standards on me.
* More infuriatingly, she repeatedly exclaimed, "Wow, these things look beautiful, I want them!"
* When I responded, "Buy whatever you like, it's rare to visit here, and the prices are reasonable," she didn’t buy anything and continued nagging, urging against buying.
Lastly, concerning our differing views on consumption and those 'painful' fruits:
- My friend had a more practical approach towards spending, prioritising expenses that truly served an essential benefit.
- She frequently mentioned wanting to eat fruit. In the scenic area, she was attracted by the box fruit sale, but deemed it too expensive and proceeded unattended. Then, she continued longing for fruits.
- One evening before we entered the subway, I specifically took out my phone and used the map application to find a fruit store nearby.
* With fruit in boxes and whole watermelons available, she deliberated again: “Should I buy pre-cut fruit or a whole melon to slice?” While I replied that it really depended on preference, she then probed asking if I would like eating.
* I politely suggested otherwise which somewhat infuriated her, demanding I not partake in the melon's consumption. Shocked by it, I truly felt disheartened since I never exploited her benevolence nor casually ate food from others. Her words made me feel insulted and suspicious towards her, remembering my委屈now still brings tears.- Ultimately, a whole melon was purchased, yet she began complaining about its price.
Oh, as they say, travel is a true test of character; this experience truly resonates with me deeply.
️ Friendly Warnings for Your Trip (if heading to Hangzhou or enjoying a friend's company):- Hotel Choice:
- If someone recommends budget-friendly hotels in suburbs, be sure to check with mapping applications (Gaode, Baidu Maps, Google Maps) whether getting from the hotel to downtown attractions remains convenient, especially considering China's peak congestion during holidays.
- Avoid Pitfall: Prior to booking, inputting hotel addresses into maps reveals estimated travel times for both public and private transportation.
- Trip Planning & Responsibilities:
- It is best to pre-assign duties among friends or work collaboratively on trip strategizing to avoid causing distress for all parties involved.
- Avoid Pitfall: Both friends should download maps and translation apps, and ideally have basic knowledge about destination locations and means to use mobile devices for checking routes.
- Different Spending Habits:
- Traveling with friends exhibiting varying expenditures habits often fosters disagreements easily.
- Avoid Pitfall: Agree on approximate budgets beforehand or leave individual purchases untouched, while explicitly stating financial independence.
- "Invisible" Navitation/Carer:
- When your travel partner regards you an omnipotent navigational advisor and source of information without sharing responsibilities, long-term fatigue may ensue.
- Avoid Pitfall: Encourage friends to play an active role, such as researching attractions' open times and next meal locations. Communicate clearly indicating unfamiliar territory: "I'm new too, let's explore together through maps!"
Hopefully, everyone enjoys their traveling experiences!
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She wanted BBQ but complained it was too pricey. So, she got some rice noodle rolls just to have something in her stomach. The little bit of BBQ she eventually ordered didn't fill her up at all. I suggested trying something else, but she wouldn't agree. Seriously, who goes on vacation and eats BBQ instead of trying the local specialties? Still hungry, she then craved some braised duck. After spending over 50 RMB on it, she complained it wasn't as good as the duck near her school. What on earth does she actually want?!
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Same here, traveling with good friends can be exhausting at times. It was the May Day holiday, so of course, hotel prices were up – that's normal. But she was like, 'Damn capitalists, jacking up prices so much for the holiday!' (My thought: if you choose to travel during peak season, expect higher prices). The most ridiculous part? I picked the hotel. My friend is quite frugal and couldn't accept anything too expensive, so I chose a mid-range king bed room for 380 a night. When we got to the room, she actually complained, 'There isn't even a washing machine!' I explained that most hotels have a separate laundry room. She looked disgusted and said she'd stayed in cheaper hotels that had in-room washing machines. Then she went on about how 'this awful hotel's lighting is so dim,' and so on. I mean, come on! If you want better, pay more, right? I'm quite picky about hotels myself and felt this was perfectly fine for the price and environment.
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I think the happiest way to travel is to go alone. Everything goes according to your own plans, and it's just incredibly joyful.
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The downsides are that food portions might be too large [for one person], and accommodation can be a bit pricey...
But once you realize you're traveling for happiness, not to save money, it gets a lot better! -
Try traveling with your parents; you'll definitely have a meltdown.
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Oh, I've tried that long ago. It feels like they're not out to travel but to exercise. They don't look at anything, don't do anything fun, don't even take photos – just power-walk straight ahead. If I go into a shop to browse, they rush me. It's a total buzzkill. And if I get upset, they say I'm being immature.
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My partner and I just got back from a trip and saw this. We're both girls, so when we travel, we discuss everything. She's very considerate of me, and I am of her. She handled snagging the train tickets and high-speed rail, so I took care of the hotel. She researched food guides, I looked up attraction guides, and we planned things together. Even if we make a small mistake like taking the wrong turn, we can laugh it off and find our way again. That's what's great – not blaming each other is the best part.
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I'm truly so envious.
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Traveling is truly the most direct way to see people's true colors.
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It's probably due to different values. Traveling is really about mutual compromise; it's best to find people on the same wavelength. For me, even for independent international trips, I'm the one who does all the planning. I even prepare at least two backup plans, ready to switch if any issues arise. The other 'sisters' (older female friends) are also accommodating me, especially since the only elderly person in our group of five is my mom.
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Don't travel with close friends too readily. Different habits can genuinely strain the relationship.
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This big data recommendation feels a bit weird. But I'm good, actually; I have fun traveling with any of my friends.
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Do you have PTSD, @荧惑（有礼帽版）?
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I'm so lucky, my travel buddies are all awesome! We might have disagreements, but we always understand and compromise with each other, and always think of the other person. Even when I travel with my parents, it's super fun!!
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Just constantly providing emotional support for each other, hahaha!