对 都是个人行为 就是影响心情和影响

这几天，一个非常喜欢我的朋友从外地来上海找我玩。虽然她很喜欢我，但她对上海却有一种说不上来的不喜欢。经过两天愉快的游玩后，她离开了。我们去了广富林遗址公园，匆匆逛了外滩夜景和南京路步行街，但即便如此，她依然觉得上海并不适合自己。

作为一个土生土长的上海人，我想说的是：如果你在上海待不够3到5年，没有在这里努力奋斗、生活和工作，是很难真正体会到海派文化的魅力的。那些已经在上海扎根多年、成为“新上海人”的朋友们，都非常热爱这座城市。

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为什么有些人会不喜欢上海？

其实不用多说，大家可能都能猜到几分。外界总是流传着一些关于上海人的刻板印象，比如冷漠、排外、爱炫耀等等。但上海人自己往往不太反驳这些观点，因为我们常说的一句话就是：“帮弄搭噶伐啦，帮无搭嘎伐啦。”翻译过来就是：“跟你没关系，跟我也没关系，过好自己的日子就挺好。”

关于友情

上海人对待朋友非常珍惜，会尽自己所能对你好，但同时也有很强的边界感。我们不太喜欢主观地给别人提建议或出主意，更倾向于认真分析后让你自己做决定。如果是在自己不懂的领域，就会选择闭嘴认真倾听。这是因为我们很怕朋友吃亏，但又不愿过多介入他人的生活。

关于借钱

在上海，很多人不太愿意对外借钱，也不太喜欢向别人借钱。有时候甚至会主动给一点钱帮助别人，但根本没打算要回来。这种观念可以总结为一句话：救急不救穷，帮笨不帮懒。举个例子，之前有个朋友因为生意失败欠了很多钱，后来出去重新创业了。只有上海的一些朋友没有追着他要钱，而老家那边的人却纷纷起诉了。

关于排外

其实，“排外”这件事完全不存在。上海有3000多万人口，其中一半以上都是外来流动人口。如果没有包容的心态，上海怎么会有今天的发展呢？如果一定要说“排”，那排的是懒惰、不讲道理、没有底线和规矩的人。上海人非常注重规矩，哪怕喝酒时聊到事情，也坚持“酒归酒，事归事”。

关于爱秀

每个地方都有些人喜欢炫耀自己的生活，这其实跟有没有条件有关。之前群里有个朋友喜欢分享自己的高端日常生活，结果被大家误解，最后愤然退出。其实，这种没有目的性的分享，很多人不理解，但这只是个人习惯而已。所以，我们需要更强的包容心！

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最后谈谈包容性

上海被称为“海纳百川”，正是因为它的包容性让人感到舒适。就像我一样，任何事情、任何人都可以理解和接纳，只要不违法、不违规、不破坏道德、不影响他人就好。毕竟，民主和自由的前提是不侵犯别人的权益。

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哔哔拉拉说了这么多，其实是最近有感而发。你们觉得我说得对吗？

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标签
#男人四十 #自我成长 #不被人理解 #讨厌没有边界感 #发自内心的疑问 #不被理解是常态 #内心世界的日常叨叨 #上海 #边界感很重要 #难以理解的人和事 #80后 #内容过于真实 #现代人精神状态 #为什么要去大城市 #原因在自己 #所以困住我们的到底是什么

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Hello everyone! I've just returned from Chongqing and there are a few things I need to get off my chest! The city itself is quite cool, but some of my experiences... Ugh, they are difficult to describe. I probably won't go back again anytime soon. Here are some tips for my friends who are planning to visit!

• About the taxi drivers - I really want to voice this frustration!

• Most of the drivers are a bit... umm, unfriendly. They either push various bus tickets or ferry tickets onto you, or express dissatisfaction with your destination?

• On my first day, I told a driver to take me to Zazong Street (the famous landmark in the center of Chongqing). He exclaimed, "That place is so outlandish!" with an air of superiority. I was dumbfounded: What does it have anything to do with him? After all, tourists will naturally want to see famous places.

• ️ Note: Get mentally prepared before entering a taxi, as drivers might try to sell tourist packages; politely decline if you don't need them.

• The rampant chaos in tourism severely undermined my experience!

• Hongyadong (the old and famous street which lights up the night), that is overcrowded with tourists, is a prime example of such chaos - it is extremely hard to see how the actual scenery could be compromised like this.

• At every step along the way, someone is pushing bus tickets onto you, while others try selling ferry tickets; there are continuous attempts by strangers to capture your attention for taking pictures with them. With so many people already packed into Hongyadong, and the added hucksters, it makes it impossible to enjoy a leisurely stroll unhindered.

• ️ Warning: In popular tourist spots such as Hongyadong, expect to be hassled for promotions. Decline politely and keep a close eye on personal belongings.

• Chongqing's mountainous terrain, though a feature, is headache-inducing too!

• Chongqing, the "Mountain City," has numerous steep roads which are indeed fascinating. But after a strenuous day out, facing an endless slope can make you feel defeated!

• Unless locals show you small sidepaths or you've done an exhaustive online research, you may find it better to take a cab. Though starting fare is just 10 RMB, at times you could almost walk up the hill within a kilometer. Without thorough planning, you may end up spending money for no good reason.

• Travel Suggestion: Chongqing's terrain is complex, and not always navigated accurately by GPS.

• Read many travel guides, knowing the challenges of walking distances between sites.

• Prepare for taxis and ask about approximate distances and fares to avoid being rerouted.

• Getting网约车 is difficult; commuting in the evening is more troublesome!

• Using Didi (a popular taxi app in China) can be problematic, especially since there are two separate systems for taxis and ride-hailing vehicles.

• Unknown to me, around 10 PM, many taxis seem to stop working. On several days, we had to drag ourselves, dead tired, back to our hotel.

• ️ Notice: Taxiing out can be difficult during the late hours of the night in Chongqing, particularly away from the central city areas. Plan your return transportation ahead, or find a hotel in a connected region.

• Some so-called "trending must-see spots", are simply absurd!

• I suspect some places were created merely to cater to trending topics, which locals don't consider to be notable.

• For instance, Liuzi Mountain light rail passing through a building, and Guanyinqiao's “I am in Chongqing” big display screen, not exaggerating, these are places where snapping a photo is all you do there. Such places feel created just to fulfill the need of photography.

• Travel Suggestion: Approach trendy attractions with a calm mindset; some might only suit short-term photo-taking打卡 visits.

• Dialect and possible "tourist attitude"

• Locals, young and old, mostly speak Chongqing dialect (different from Mandarin, it sounds like Sichuanese). We non-locals who speak Mandarin might easily stand out.

• Apart from sometimes not understanding them clearly, I felt more likely to be treated differently or scammed. Hence, one needs to be alert!

• ！！！Important Warning！！！

• Communication Tips: Communication gaps exist between Chongqing dialect and Mandarin. Although many youths also understand Mandarin, slowing down your speech may help better understanding.

• Anti-Scam Awareness: With unfamiliar accents due to being an outsider, being cautious against possible scams and frauds becomes crucial, especially while shopping in small stores or hailing taxis where some unscrupulous vendors/drivers might cheat travelers.

In summary, Chongqing has its own charm and has been well-developed. Yet, if one desires a completely relaxed and happy journey, it could be challenging as per my personal experience. This shared information is just a reference for anyone wishing to know more about this wonderful city.

Last time I drove to Chongqing, I was trying to be courteous and yield. But a BMW behind me just kept honking, and the driver even rolled down his window to yell at me, 'Get moving!' and call me an idiot.

#每日分享 #新疆 #旅游 #想回家

但是你这个也很好看

我也刚离开啊，我住的民宿东沙那边周一到周四，180一间，一个家庭房，一个标间，都是这个价，到东沙海滨浴场60元三天连票随便进，玩儿到多晚都可以，最晚卖票到9点半，老人小孩半价17.5每人每天进两次。吃饭东沙附近的民宿都有，不吃大牌档就不贵呀。海鲜去综合市场买，出市场100米，加工20－25一个菜，梭子蟹跟着本地人买周内40一斤很大很大，玩儿今年那儿都热，我从河南自驾过去，沿途经过安徽，江苏，舟山是一路上最凉快的了希望能给后面的朋友提供帮助~普陀山值得去，虽然热，我第一次去，见到年轻人老人很多，有人更是从山下虔诚的一步三叩上山，同缆车有年轻夫妻第三次去跟我说，三年前第一次来求子，很灵

我在新疆过了11点后就睡不着，而且每天早上5、6点就醒了

哈哈哈，所以去之前真的要做好攻略